Miroku's 5 Steps For A Perfect Date
by taijiya-sango88
Summary: The title basiclly says it all! miroku is goin to give u the 5 step for a perfect date(for the guys but girls can read it for the humor ^-^) Anyway hope u enjoy it! R&R!!
1. Steps 1&2

Miroku's 5 Steps for a Perfect Date

By: kawaii-anime-lover

Step 1: Compliments

Miroku: Konnichiwa Gentlemen!!! Today  I'm here going to show you the 5 steps to asking a girl out, since I'm SO good with woman!

InuYasha, Shippo, and Kenshin: *sit and stare*

 Miroku: Okay, step one to getting a girl: First, give the lady mice compliments as in what she is wearing, her eyes, her hair, ETC….

InuYasha: *raises hand*

Miroku: Yes InuYasha?

InuYasha: Uh…yea…why am I here? I was told I was getting candy…not date lessons.

Miroku: Don't you want to ask Kagome out?

InuYasha: NANI!?!?!? Why would I want o ask that clueless wench out????

Miroku: Of course u want to ask her out...now sit down or no dinner!

InuYasha: What is for dinner?

Miroku: ramen…

InuYasha: *shuts up*

Miroku: OK,  back to the steps…*takes out tape*

*Sango walks in*

Miroku: I guess I'll show you guys in person how it is done.....well _hello Sango, you are looking absolutely beautiful today, as always.._

Sango: *stares blankly* uh…thanks…I think..

Miroku:….and may I say you did your hair very nice today….it smells good.

Sango: This is how I always do my hair.

Miroku: Uh….ya well I'm going to give you the compliment today instead of just always staring at it….

Sango: OOK..

Miroku: and your chest are is looks nice as always..

Sango: WHAT?!?!?!!?

InuYasha: He blew it…

Sango: Why you little perverted, stupid idiot! *slaps Miroku* HENTAI!!! *walks away*

Miroku: *gets up smiling* and that is how step one is done!

Kenshin: oro?

InuYasha & Shippo: *sit & stare with wide eyes*

End of step one…

**Step 2: Manners**

****

Miroku: Now, boys, listen and you shall hear *poses step 2*

InuYasha: Oh joy…

Miroku: *makes a mad face*

Kenshin: Just get on with it, you have already proven you know nothing about girls…

Miroku: *gets even more mad*……..* shakes anger off*….Ok….Step…two…is…MANNERS!!!

InuYasha: Yea…..from the king of manners who just got slapped..

*everyone, except Miroku, snickers*

Miroku: one word InuYasha….ramen..

InuYasha: oh…yea…sorry sir

Miroku: Ahem.....now. When on a dinner date, you need to use silverware properly. DO NOT eat with your hands....

And never order pizza!

Shippo: ?

Miroku: Ahem, yea moving right along....

Miroku: I have prepared a computer dummy that will rate you all on your table manners!

Miroku: Meet.....CyberDate 2000!

IY: WOO! SHE'S HOT!

Miroku: Huh?!?!? V.V

Miroku: Okay then lover boy...you first....

IY: OK! *sits down....*

*computer date (cd) stands impatiently....*

Miroku: Rule #2! Pull out her chair....

IY: OK!

*sits down....*

*computer date (cd) stands impatiently....*

Miroku: Rule #2! Pull out her chair....

IY: Oh...ok!

*pulls out chair and stares at butt as she sits down....*

Miroku: Glares....

cd: *slap*

IY: heh heh....

Miroku: Ok...now comes for the meal!

IY: I'll take a #5....the "You Will Not Look Cool In Front Of Your Date If You Order THis" meal. 

Miroku: Ur a lost cause.....

Miroku: ok....now the date progresses....

Miroku: psst....remember step one....

IY: ok....

IY: Umm..you che-

Miroku: NO!

NOT THAT PART!

IY: oh....ok.....

heh heh

IY: Um...what a nice....cup you have???

*lost

Miroku: OOOOK! NO MORE COMPLIMENTS

IY: Ok...got it...no more compliments.

Shippo: *snore....

IY:hmm....here's the food!

*chows like a beast.....

CD: The date is over...

Cd rates you as.....

a 2 out of ten....

IY: WHAT??!?!?!?!?

I thought I did fine!

Stupid thing!

*pulls out Tetsaiga

Take this!

*readies sword

Miroku: No wait!

That was exppensive!

IY: *stops in midair....

IY: ok....

*sits down...

Miroku: Now we have a special guest...

for your dating etiquette, I'd like to introduce the best of the best!

Miroku: Me!

Miroku: *sits down.

*puts oon shadesMiroku: *pulls out chair

Miroku: So.....what'll it be.....

The hot guy across from you or the hot guy across from you???

CD: I find the #3: "Garbage can leavings" more appetizing

Miroku: huh?!?!?!?!

Miroku: well, um....

Cd: *can tell he's struggling...starts conversation

It's awful cold outside...

miroku: Yea....my blanket is thermal though... Cd:*SMAK! (even harder than IY)

Miroku: Uhhh....well....ur....lookin' nice! How about we ditch this cafe and I'll introduce you to the nude beach!

CD: The date is now over.

CD: Your boyfriend level is....

Miroku: sweatdrops

cd: a 0. You are conceited, hypersexual, and extremely corny. I have met rabid wolverines that have better tact.

Miroku: WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!

IY: Heh heh....who's the dating teacher????

Miroku: Shut up and give me that sword!

End of step two……

kawaii-anime-lover: That is all the steps right now….Miroku said he will give me steps 3+4 as soon as possible…till then…Ja'ne minna!!!(bye everyone)


	2. Steps 3&4

Konnichiwa minna!!! I'm back with steps 3+4 four of Miroku's 5 steps for a Perfect Date! Sorry everyone for updating a little late, I went to my dad's for the weekend then I got tons and tons of HW!! I HATE MATH!!! Math should burn in hell!!1 *jumps on math book* DIE DIE DIE! I hate you Math!!! *looks at audience* ahem.sry bout that.math had always and will forever get on my nerves!.anyway I'm hoping you will like Step 3 and 4.thank you for all the reviews!  
  
Miroku's 5 Steps for a Perfect Date Step 3+4 By: kawaii-anime-lover  
  
Miroku:Now that I have adjusted the cd.....we shall begin step three 'What not to say on a date with a lady'  
  
IY:We're only gonna get slapped if we listen to you!  
  
Miroku:ANYWAY! The most important thing is NOT to insult them *looks at inuyasha* yasha*  
  
IY: what?  
  
Kenshin: and not to be perverted right?  
  
IY: Laughs  
  
Miroku uh... right thank u kenshin for remembering that..uh anyway  
  
Miroku:Well....since Inu yasha has this problem the most....we'll use him for practice  
  
Shippo: *still asleep*  
  
IY:Wat do u mean? I do not!  
  
Miroku: I recall the word wench being used around kagome a lot.  
  
IY: She is a wench!  
  
Miroku: *Sweatdrops*......just come up here u baka or no ramen!  
  
IY:*mumbles under his breath*  
  
Miroku: since I killed the robot that we used for practice! I will have to play as the girl of the date!  
  
IY: EWWWWWWWW!!! You! I am not going to have you be the girl I'm suppose to go out with!  
  
Miroku: well ok, unless you want me to go get Kagome.  
  
IY: WAIT!! No! .........you can be the girl..  
  
Kenshin: Kagome?  
  
Miroku: It's the girl he likes  
  
IY: Yeah it is the girl I..WHAT!?!?!? I do not and NEVER will like that WENCH!!!  
  
Miroku: Suuuuurrree!  
  
IY: humph..  
  
Miroku: well it's either her or me what's it gonna be?  
  
IY: * mummers* you I guess.  
  
Miroku: OK, let's get started  
  
Miroku: Inu-yasha you will go first  
  
IY: fine......  
  
*long silence...*  
  
IY: So.what do I do..?  
  
Miroku: First you pull out my CHAIR!!!  
  
InuYasha: oh.yea..*pulls out chair*...um...now what????  
  
Miroku: well.you remember compliments , manners , and the one you are having problems with.CONVERSATION!!!  
  
IY: HEY! I did NOT ask to be here so SHUT your TRAP!!! I REFUSED from the beginning to stay, so don't throw me a guilt trip OK!!!!!  
  
Miroku: *looks at audience* here is yet another example on what Not to do on a date with your young lady!  
  
IY: * stares blankly* huh???  
  
Miroku: There is lots more of what not to do...if you have any questions.just ask kawaii-anime-lover and she will give me your question and I will answer them for you!! Till then.Ja'ne!!  
  
IY: I'm lost.what just happened??? End of Step 3..  
  
Step 4: The Gift  
  
  
  
Miroku: Welcome back everyone!!!!! We are back to learn step 4!!!!  
  
IY: oh I'm soo happy..  
  
Miroku: *glares any InuYasha* as I was saying.step 4 we are going to learn what kind of gift to get your date.  
  
InuYasha: OH! I know one!!! RAMEN!!!  
  
Miroku: *sweatdrops* uh..no.more like flowers or jewelry!  
  
Kenshin *raises hand*  
  
Miroku: Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: um..yea.I was just wondering if a kimono and sake a good gift???  
  
Miroku: kimono yes..sake.no.we don't want the girls to get drunk..well I wouldn't mind.but you three are not ready!  
  
IY and Kenshin: ??????  
  
InuYasha: YOU HAVE A SICK MIND!  
  
Miroku: I know! *smiles*  
  
InuYasha: perverted cow  
  
Miroku: moving on..does anyone have any ideas for a great gift???  
  
InuYasha & Kenshin: ...  
  
Shippo: *snores*  
  
Miroku: anyone???....ok I guess I'll have to bring in one of the girls since you are all ready.  
  
InuYasha: *starts yelling stuff he thinks a girl would like* shoe...necklace..pillow...um..flowers..T.V..um.and.stuff  
  
Miroku: uh..I was just kidding , but some of those are good..uh.no T.V. though.  
  
InuYasha: ok..  
  
Miroku: this is getting no where!!! Let's just move on to the next step!!!  
  
Kenshin: before we do..is a pet a suitable gift???  
  
Miroku: a pet??? What are you planning to get this mystery person?  
  
Kenshin: well her favorite animal is a tiger( I do not know if Kaoru's fave animal is a tiger ok?...just go with please??) so I was planning to get her one!  
  
Miroku & IY: *stare eye-wide*  
  
Kenshin: *smiles*  
  
Miroku: we do have a lot to cover on step 4..people PLEASE give these morons some gift suggestions!!  
  
InuYasha: HEY! I heard that.  
  
Miroku: uh oh.well bye for now*starts running*  
  
End of Step 4...  
  
Kawaii-anime-lover: well as Miroku said.you are welcome to give any suggestions on gifts.just tell me in your reviews! Anyway.I'll put up chapter 5 MUCH sooner this time I promise!!! Now that it is the weekend..anyway..till next time.Ja'ne minna!!! 


	3. Story News

Konnichiwa everyone! Don't worry..I'm not going to stop writing this story..it's just that..well I misplaced the paper I wrote Step 5 on. I KNOW I left it in the office , where I always leave my stories. But I came back from school to type it up..and it was not here! FREAKY! Just kidding. I just know I misplaced it somewhere. I'm going to search for it..until I find it this story will be delayed.  
  
Some of you are probably saying...well, why not write it down again. I would write a driiferent Step 5. But I liked the first one I wrote..so I'm going to search my house till I do...if it takes TOO long, where it gets to the point that I have to make another one, then I will. But trust me...it may be funny, but not as good as the first one I made, ALL of my friends cracked up when they read the first one I made, so pray I find it.  
  
Anyway..there is good side to this. I'm making another story along the way. I haven't given it a title yet, but it is REALLY funny, and will have some humor in it. I'll send you more news later!  
  
Ja'ne Kawaii-anime-lover 


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